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Funny Best Friend Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Best Friend Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
Henry Youngman
167 Likes
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All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
You didn't want to be my friend in elementary school. You didn't want to be my friend in junior high school. And you certainly weren't my friend in high school. Why on Earth do you want to be my Facebook friend today?
William E Lewis Jr
179 Likes
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Real friends don' t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you even something more offensive
Unknown
58 Likes
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A friend gives hope when life is low, a friend is a place when you have nowhere to go, a friend is honest, a friend is true. A friend is precious, a friend is you.
Unknown
60 Likes
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What do you call a blind German? A not see!
Unknown
133 Likes
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When we first talked to each other I knew we would always be friends. Our friendship has kept on growing and I'll be here for you to the end. You listen when I have a problem and help dry the tears from my face. You take away my sorrow and put happiness in its place. We can't forget the fun we've had. Laughing 'til our faces turn blue. Talking of things only we find funny. People think we're insane. If they only knew! I guess this is my way of saying thanks for catching me when I fall. Thanks once again for being such a good friend and being here with me through it all.
Unknown
605 Likes
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I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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I'll be your friend till the episode comes in which Tom finally eats Jerry!
Ritu Ghatourey
124 Likes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
23 Likes
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You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Unknown
498 Likes
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan
16 Likes
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Hi. Um, my camel called...he wants his toe back!
Unknown
59 Likes
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
50 Likes
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got cut off? He's all right now.
Unknown
52 Likes
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What do you call identical boobs? Identitties.
Unknown
110 Likes
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Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
Rob Corddry
11 Likes
What do you call a fake noodle??? An impasta.
Unknown
172 Likes
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Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: With what?
Unknown
142 Likes
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I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Unknown
618 Likes
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