Funny Budget Cut Quotes

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Total: 8340 Quotes
 Ellen DeGeneres quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
 
 Mel Brooks quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
 
 Joseph E Levine quotes 
 Funny quotes   Hollywood quotes   Budgets quotes 
Suggest Revision: You can fool all the people all the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.
 
 Sam Ewing quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
 
 Henry Youngman quotes 
 Funny quotes   Sarcastic quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
 
 Ellen DeGeneres quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: People always ask me 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, I was an accountant.
 
 Robert Paul quotes 
 Funny quotes   Work quotes 
Suggest Revision: The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
 
 Garrison Keillor quotes 
 Funny quotes   God quotes 
Suggest Revision: God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
 
 Will Rogers quotes 
 Funny quotes   Laughter quotes 
Suggest Revision: Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
 
 Jimi Hendrix quotes 
 Funny quotes   Death quotes 
Suggest Revision: It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
 
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