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Funny Christmas New Year Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Christmas New Year" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket....so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass.
Unknown
719 Likes
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Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
Unknown
693 Likes
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Unknown
137 Likes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
85 Likes
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What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
42 Likes
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I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
Unknown
143 Likes
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I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
Charles Dickens
81 Likes
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Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
42 Likes
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Christmas is a time of year to sleep in, pig out, and get fat. Not to "bang everybody"
Unknown
4 Likes
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Buying me a Christmas gift on Cyber Monday is a great way to ensure I'll have s.. with you until Christmas.
Unknown
32 Likes
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The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
Joan Rivers
18 Likes
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May the bright and festive glow of Christmas candle warm the days all the year through! Hope you will have a wonderful time enjoying Christmas Day and wish you a New Year that is happy in every way.
Unknown
8 Likes
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Christmas is love and joy. Christmas is caring, giving and sharing. Christmas is the most wonderful feeling of the year. Wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
Unknown
17 Likes
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May this year be more promising than the year before! Spread the happiness all around you! It's Christmas! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family!
Unknown
29 Likes
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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple
44 Likes
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A Christmas greeting and good wishes to you is thought about all the year through. Have a beautiful Christmas and a happy New Year.
Unknown
5 Likes
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Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
Tom Sims
9 Likes
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Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
Arlo Guthrie
21 Likes
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Hey baby, here is wishing you and fun-filled and gift-brimmed Christmas. May all your dreams turn into reality. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Unknown
27 Likes
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