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Funny Drunk Alcohol Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Drunk Alcohol" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Listen, I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties.
Unknown
159 Likes
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Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk.
Unknown
311 Likes
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I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
Raymond Chandler
20 Likes
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Sorry sweetie, but no. Alcohol is't an excuse for being a dirty slut. Nice try though.
Unknown
158 Likes
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
29 Likes
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When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Unknown
51 Likes
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Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer. I saw the video. We need to talk...
Unknown
65 Likes
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Don't ever talk to your ex while drunk, booze has information in it.
Unknown
83 Likes
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I wonder what the blood alcohol level is of all these mosquitos that keep biting me?
Unknown
372 Likes
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So I won't give up alcohol, boys, being judgmental or sarcasm but I'll definitely give up drunk texting for Lent.
Unknown
220 Likes
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Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill
14 Likes
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If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
Unknown
108 Likes
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It's funny how alcohol can make the clothes come off.
Unknown
18 Likes
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Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
Unknown
444 Likes
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A female officer pulls over a drunk man. The officer tells him, Anything you say will be held against you! Then the drunk man yells, TITTIES!
Unknown
988 Likes
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Alcohol products never use Drunk people in their adverts...
Unknown
1 Likes
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Frank Sinatra
83 Likes
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Mom says 'Alcohol is your enemy'... Jesus says 'Love your enemy.'
Unknown
163 Likes
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No officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!
Unknown
86 Likes
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Youre not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Unknown
31 Likes
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