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Funny Ex Wife Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Ex Wife" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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A good wife comes from God and a good husband comes from the bank.
Evans Amecha
51 Likes
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My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that's Ok!
Jay Leno
25 Likes
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I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he's already met my wife.
Nikhil Saluja
350 Likes
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There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will.
Robert Frost
62 Likes
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Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
Jim Backus
16 Likes
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My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
Every man sees his second mother in his wife but every woman sees her first child in her husband.
Ritu Ghatourey
897 Likes
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A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed.
Unknown
356 Likes
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Marriage is a workshop, where the husband works and the wife shops.
Unknown
633 Likes
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They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
0 Likes
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
Les Dawson
1182 Likes
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I always wondered if you clone your wife and have the cloned wife on the moon and the real wife down here, would that be considered cheating?
Luis Guzman
2 Likes
They say he's [Yogi Berra] funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
7 Likes
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Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters.
Nikhil Saluja
347 Likes
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I love that new wife smell.
Unknown
9 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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Military wife; I legally mess with government property.
Unknown
38 Likes
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The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.
David Ogilvy
10 Likes
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Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.
Shelley Winters
51 Likes
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