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Funny Facebook Status Alarm Clocks Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Status Alarm Clocks" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
Unknown
948 Likes
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In today's world, the key to success is to delete your Facebook account!
Unknown
972 Likes
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I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'
Unknown
919 Likes
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Welcome to Facebook. The Weather today: An 80% chance of game requests, a 10% chance of pokes, and a 100% certainty of drama
Unknown
345 Likes
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I was using Facebook hashtags before they worked.
Unknown
76 Likes
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Before s.... you help each other get naked, after s.. you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
Unknown
2197 Likes
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'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...
Unknown
1246 Likes
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Allowing gay marriages isn't nearly the gayest thing about California.
Unknown
40 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...
Oketa Ojok
8034 Likes
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Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
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4765 Likes
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If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
Unknown
1748 Likes
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I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Unknown
85 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.
Unknown
41 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Facebook Status quotes
Say this out loud five times fast! 'I won a math debate.'
Unknown
616 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Sorry you're upset that three brutal murders by one of your players may impact your team's playoff chances.
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25 Likes
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Behind every great woman, there is a guy looking at her ass.
Unknown
573 Likes
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I refuse to go bungee jumping, I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one.
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664 Likes
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I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said: 'Bathroom closed.'
Unknown
572 Likes
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Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed sociopathic violence.
Unknown
57 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like the giraffe did.
Unknown
593 Likes
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