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Total: 7346 Quotes
 Ellen DeGeneres quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
 
 Leo Rosenberg quotes 
 Funny quotes   Getting Old quotes   Age quotes 
Suggest Revision: First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.
 
 Sam Ewing quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
 
 Ellen DeGeneres quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: People always ask me 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, I was an accountant.
 
 Robert Paul quotes 
 Funny quotes   Work quotes 
Suggest Revision: The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
 
 Garrison Keillor quotes 
 Funny quotes   God quotes 
Suggest Revision: God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
 
 Will Rogers quotes 
 Funny quotes   Laughter quotes 
Suggest Revision: Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
 
 Jimi Hendrix quotes 
 Funny quotes   Death quotes 
Suggest Revision: It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
 
 Issac Asimov quotes 
 Funny quotes   Famous quotes 
Suggest Revision: The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...�
 
 George Best quotes 
 Funny quotes   Putdowns quotes 
Suggest Revision: Robert Redford used to be such a handsome man and now look at him: everything has dropped, expanded and turned a funny colour.
 
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