Funny Faecboook Status Quotes

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Total: 8136 Quotes
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Suggest Revision: I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
 
My mother never understood the irony in calling me a
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Suggest Revision: My mother never understood the irony in calling me a
 
God loves me even when I don't forward those chain letters.
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Suggest Revision: God loves me even when I don't forward those chain letters.
 
Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall.
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Suggest Revision: Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall.
 
Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green.
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Suggest Revision: Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green.
 
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Suggest Revision: If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fuck itself.
 
No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
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Suggest Revision: No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
 
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Suggest Revision: Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How'd that work out for him?
 
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Suggest Revision: Vodka-$19.99. Motel-$54.99. Condoms-$2.99. Finding Out She Swallows... PRICELESS!!!!! Fuck Visa, It Pays To Discover!!!!!
 
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Suggest Revision: I dont ask for a blow job because the word job makes it sound like its strenuous physical labor. Instead, I ask for mouth hugs.
 
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