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Funny Give Thanks Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Give Thanks" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!
Erick S Gray
176 Likes
Deep Life quotes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I'll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I'll give you a stock clerk.
JC Penney
3 Likes
Inspirational quotes
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Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I'll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I'll give you a stock clerk.
JC Penney
8 Likes
Funny quotes
Change quotes
So I won't give up alcohol, boys, being judgmental or sarcasm but I'll definitely give up drunk texting for Lent.
Unknown
220 Likes
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Whatever you give a woman, she is going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. So if you give her crap, you will receive a ton of shit.
Unknown
316 Likes
Relationship Advice quotes
Women quotes
If I can give myself all the reason for being with you, I can't see why you can't give me reason for your acting through all these funny things like stayin' out late at night, making me spend all sobbing lonely nights, baby, you know you're drivin' me crazy, you've been truth for me.
Lady Saw
22 Likes
I'm on that 'I don't give a fu.. diet.' I've lost 10 assholes already.
Unknown
467 Likes
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Marriage is give and take. Youd better give it to her or shell take it anyway.
Unknown
17 Likes
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God put haters on this earth for two reasons: 1. To motivate others. 2. To give no lives a job.
Surgeo Bell
80 Likes
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I'm saving all of your Facebook pregnancy updates to one day give to your child to one day give to a psychologist.
Unknown
22 Likes
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A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
Jerry Seinfield
535 Likes
Funny quotes
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It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough.
Quentin Crisp
3 Likes
Give me work to do, Give me health, Give me joy in simple things, Give me an eye for beauty, A tongue for truth, A heart that loves, A mind that reasons, A sympathy that understands. Give me neither malice nor envy, But a true kindness And a noble common sense. At the close of each day Give me a book And a friend with whom I can be silent.
S M Frazier
6 Likes
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If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I said.
Unknown
189 Likes
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I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time worrying about being liked than anything else.
Gene Wilder
2 Likes
Funny how someone who CARES so much, will be the first to give you the cold shoulder.
Unknown
11 Likes
The moment where you give your friend the what the fu.. is this look during a test.
Unknown
46 Likes
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Give your troubles to God. He'll be up all night anyhow.
Unknown
10 Likes
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If you really want your friends to remember you, give them something cheap.
Unknown
43 Likes
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