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Funny Hoarding Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Hoarding" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.
Unknown
255 Likes
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Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom.
Unknown
340 Likes
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Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
Unknown
2419 Likes
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My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and realize there's someone inside.
Unknown
631 Likes
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Parent: What did you learn today? Student: Apparently not enough! We have to go back tomorrow!
Unknown
1256 Likes
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It's been said good things come to those who wait... All I have to say is whatever is coming to me,better be freaking fantastic!
Nishan Panwar
547 Likes
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I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose.
Unknown
933 Likes
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You put funny people in funny costumes and paint them green and we could talk about anything we wanted to, because that was the only thing that fascinated Gene about this particular genre.
Majel Barrett
107 Likes
My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.
Unknown
509 Likes
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Unknown
2332 Likes
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Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together.
Unknown
281 Likes
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Before someone gets their drivers liscence they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off.
Unknown
376 Likes
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Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Unknown
170 Likes
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Sati is hilarious all the time. She has a great sense of humor. She knows she's funny, too. Like whenever she does something cute, she gets this smile on her face and announces, 'Funny baby!'
Alyson Hannigan
9 Likes
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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Unknown
1346 Likes
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Dear God, my prayer for 2012 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did this year.
Unknown
241 Likes
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Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
Unknown
984 Likes
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They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
0 Likes
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...�
Issac Asimov
1381 Likes
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