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Funny Jay Zholes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jay Zholes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I hung out with Jay-Z and Kanye while they were recording in Sydney. I met up with Jay backstage at Oprah and he said Kanye would appreciate it if I popped in, so I spent an hour with them late one night. Beyonce was there as well. We were just listening to the new tracks that Jay is producing for Kanye. The songs are spectacular.
Russell Crowe
10 Likes
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My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
Jay London
36 Likes
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The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Jay Leno
9 Likes
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It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
Jay London
19 Likes
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Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins Lottery?
Jay Leno
8 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'
Jay Leno
22 Likes
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NBC - no body cares.
Jay Leno
10 Likes
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You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.
Jay Mohr
70 Likes
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I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'Id like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'
Jay Leno
64 Likes
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I went into McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." And the girl behind the counter says, "Would you like fries with that?"
Jay Leno
8 Likes
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Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England.
Jay Leno
12 Likes
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My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that's Ok!
Jay Leno
25 Likes
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Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Jay Leno
18 Likes
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The commentary track became a lot like the movie and there are some funny, long, awkward pauses that you can tell we're just trying to find stuff to say. None of us had gotten to really talk about the movie until that moment and they were in New York and we were in L.A.
Jay Roach
4 Likes
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I had the worst one the other night. I was out with my girlfriends, and this guy comes up to me and tells me the girl he was just talking to has a bejeweled vagina. She had, like, bejeweled her va-jay-jay! I was like, 'Really, dude?'
Amber Lancaster
2 Likes
Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous substances. Not in Iraq, in Rush Limbaugh's medicine cabinet.
Jay Leno
26 Likes
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Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
Jay Leno
31 Likes
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The Kinsey Institute says gay men have bigger s.. organs. Hence the origin of gay pride.
Jay Leno
33 Likes
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The reason for the slow progress of the world seems to lie in a single fact. Every man is born under the yoke, and grows up beneath the oppressions of his age.
John Jay Chapman
9 Likes
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