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Funny Jokes About Being Single Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jokes About Being Single" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan
16 Likes
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got cut off? He's all right now.
Unknown
52 Likes
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You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Unknown
498 Likes
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If the 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still 2?
Unknown
224 Likes
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What do you call identical boobs? Identitties.
Unknown
110 Likes
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What do you call a fake noodle??? An impasta.
Unknown
172 Likes
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Hi. Um, my camel called...he wants his toe back!
Unknown
59 Likes
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Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
Rob Corddry
11 Likes
So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.'
Tim Vine
18 Likes
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Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: With what?
Unknown
142 Likes
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
50 Likes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
23 Likes
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People: 'I love it when my boyfriend tells me how much he loves me.' Me: 'I love it when my microwave tells me my food is ready.'
Unknown
265 Likes
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
1 Likes
Dear gay men, Please stop being so much kinder, funnier, and more attractive than straight men. Its quite depressing. Sincerely, all single women.
Unknown
327 Likes
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I'm positive I lost an electron, I better keep an ion that.
Unknown
144 Likes
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I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.
Tommy Cooper
20 Likes
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Foot: A special device for finding furniture in the dark.
Unknown
29 Likes
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
142 Likes
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant
93 Likes
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