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Funny Long Speeches Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Long Speeches" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
In Japan, you get on the bullet train or the airplane, and I loved the little speeches the stewardesses would do. They even do little speeches before you play gigs.
Beck
0 Likes
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My paralyzing fear of giving best man speeches prevents me from being anyone's closest friend.
Unknown
12 Likes
Funny quotes
Wedding quotes
We must get the American public to look past the glitter, beyond the showmanship, to the reality, the hard substance of things. And we'll do it not so much with speeches that will bring people to their feet as with speeches that bring people to their senses.
Mario Cuomo
3 Likes
Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.
Garry Trudeau
17 Likes
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I am sorry to say that sometimes matters of very small importance waste a good deal of precious time, by the long and repeated speeches and chicanery of gentlemen who will not wholly throw off the lawyer even in Congress.
William Whipple
4 Likes
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A judge of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court found the long-winded speeches of lawyers especially trying and advised them to take a course of reading risqué books that they might learn to say things by innuendo.
Unknown
6 Likes
Books quotes
The long version of the play is actually an easier version to follow. In all of the cut versions the intense speeches are cut too close together for the audience and the actors.
Kenneth Branagh
0 Likes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers
2276 Likes
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For in all the world there are no people so piteous and forlorn as those who are forced to eat the bitter bread of dependency in their old age, and find how steep are the stairs of another man's house. Wherever they go they know themselves unwelcome. Wherever they are, they feel themselves a burden. There is no humiliation of the spirit they are not forced to endure. Their hearts are scarred all over with the stabs from cruel and callous speeches.
Dorothy Dix
18 Likes
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Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean? Me: Mom lol means laughing out loud! Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh God.
Unknown
800 Likes
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The problem with loving is that pets don't last long enough and people last too long.
Aeschylus
24 Likes
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I haven't had s.. in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin.
Ryan Swain
157 Likes
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Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
Arlo Guthrie
21 Likes
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The very best impromptu speeches are the ones written well in advance.
Ruth Gordon
1 Likes
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Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
Will Rogers
5 Likes
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Since 1972, I've been going around making speeches on the Everglades.
Marjory Stoneman Douglas
0 Likes
I know they are all environmentalists. I heard a lot of my speeches recycled.
Jesse Jackson
0 Likes
The only place you see a free market is in the speeches of politicians.
Dwayne Andreas
2 Likes
I think my fans will follow me into our combined old age. Real musicians and real fans stay together for a long, long time.
Bonnie Raitt
22 Likes
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