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Funny Mom Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Mom Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean? Me: Mom lol means laughing out loud! Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh God.
Unknown
800 Likes
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I like to put things back where I got them from when I am done using them...so I dropped your mom off at the bar.
Unknown
232 Likes
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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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When I was a boy, my mom wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead. Happy Mother's Day!
Jeff Shaw
131 Likes
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
37 Likes
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My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
Wendy Leibman
111 Likes
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White parents use time out. My mom used a different type of time out. She'd be like, 'There...take time out to pick up your teeth.'
Martin Lawrence
77 Likes
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Deaf jokes aren't funny, I don't want to hear them.
Unknown
65 Likes
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The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
David Ogilvy
40 Likes
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The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
David Ogilvy
21 Likes
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Cripple jokes are so mean, I can't stand them!
Unknown
225 Likes
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I hate cripple jokes. I can't stand them.
Unknown
336 Likes
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9/11 jokes aren't funny, they're just plane wrong.
Unknown
220 Likes
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My mom thinks WTF means wow that's fantastic...Today I texted her: Mom I got an A on my English test...my Mom said: WTF see you at dinner.
Unknown
750 Likes
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It's time to renew that gym membership we're never going to use again.
Unknown
86 Likes
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My friend Myron tells me, 'Last year on Mother's Day the whole family got together for a big dinner and afterward, when Mom started to clean up, I said to her, 'Don't bother with those dishes, Mom. Today is Mother's Day, you can always do them tomorrow.'
Joey Adams
47 Likes
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Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
Unknown
252 Likes
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Who ever invented the Knock- Knock jokes should get a No-bell prize!
Unknown
202 Likes
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If my mom reads that I'm grammatically incorrect, I'll have hell to pay.
Larisa Oleynik
16 Likes
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I know how to do anythingI'm a mom
Roseanne Barr
17 Likes
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