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Funny New Year Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny New Year Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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It's time to renew that gym membership we're never going to use again.
Unknown
86 Likes
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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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I hope one of your New Year's resolutions is to stop tagging me in New Year's photos.
Unknown
39 Likes
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I always thought by 2013 we would have flying cars. Instead, we have blankets with sleeves.
Unknown
97 Likes
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My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
Unknown
52 Likes
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I was born in Alabama. I was raised in Georgia. I'm so Southern I'm related to myself. I have a 12-year-old daughter. She takes after my daddy. She ought to. She's his.
Brett Butler
200 Likes
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For my new year's resolution, I promise to stop correcting your terrible spelling and focus more on your horrific grammar.
Unknown
20 Likes
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Dear God, my prayer for 2012 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did this year.
Unknown
241 Likes
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French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the g.... treaders' sit-in.
Ronnie Corbett
23 Likes
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My excuses for already failing my New Year's resolution are more complicated than the fiscal cliff deal.
Unknown
22 Likes
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Your annual booze-fueled New Year's Eve spectacle will surely inspire us all to drink less in 2014.
Unknown
3 Likes
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Lets attend an opulent New Year's Eve party so we can briefly ignore the horror of our impending poverty.
Unknown
6 Likes
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Seeing the irresponsibly dangerous stunts in the Spider-Man musical has prepared me for your New Year's behavior.
Unknown
8 Likes
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Gaining 20 lbs over the holidays makes your New Year's resolution of losing 10 less impressive.
Unknown
8 Likes
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I hope the world ends in 2012 so I can't be held accountable for my New Year's resolutions.
Unknown
15 Likes
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The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
David Ogilvy
40 Likes
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Deaf jokes aren't funny, I don't want to hear them.
Unknown
65 Likes
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Cripple jokes are so mean, I can't stand them!
Unknown
225 Likes
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The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
David Ogilvy
21 Likes
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I hate cripple jokes. I can't stand them.
Unknown
336 Likes
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