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Funny New Year Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny New Year Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Sorry that, statistically speaking, you probably won't fulfill your resolution.
Unknown
8 Likes
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My resolution is to get healthier while still destroying myself with alcohol and drugs.
Unknown
21 Likes
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I resolve to stop having meaningless s.. in 2014, so I suggest you pay me a compliment or get me liquored up ASAP.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Here's to drinking enough that we'll need Ryan Seacrest to help us count backwards from ten.
Unknown
5 Likes
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Here's to having a fresh start at binge eating, boozing, and slacking off.
Unknown
8 Likes
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It may be the antidepressants talking, but I'm feeling somewhat optimistic about 2014.
Unknown
9 Likes
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This New Years, I'm going to party like Maury just told me I'm not the father!
Unknown
68 Likes
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Now that the holiday blues are over, let's resume our everyday melancholy.
Unknown
11 Likes
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I want to kiss you at midnight and pork you at dawn.
Unknown
8 Likes
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Let's decide which champagne we're going to barf.
Unknown
4 Likes
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Slut jokes are just whor..able.
Unknown
524 Likes
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Treat me like a joke, watch me leave you like its funny
Unknown
645 Likes
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I was going to make a gay joke...butt f*ck it...
Unknown
618 Likes
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My resolution is to decipher the hidden meaning in your resolution.
Unknown
39 Likes
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Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny.
Kiara Sellars
200 Likes
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I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.
Mark Russell
3 Likes
Let's never speak of 2013 again.
Unknown
5 Likes
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Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
Unknown
2419 Likes
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How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!
Zach Manal
72 Likes
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Id do anything for a perfect beach body, except work out and eat less.
Unknown
160 Likes
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