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Funny Status About Control W Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Status About Control W" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
Unknown
3567 Likes
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Birth control pills should probably be made for men. Doesn't it make more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest?
Unknown
335 Likes
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Thanks for inviting me to your baby shower, it reminded me to take my birth control pill.
Unknown
205 Likes
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OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?
Unknown
876 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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You can't always control who walks into your life but you can control which window to throw them out.
Unknown
135 Likes
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DO NOT expect a 'Bless You' after your 5th sneeze get that shit under fu..ing control.
Unknown
49 Likes
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
2231 Likes
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Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Unknown
1203 Likes
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There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
Unknown
1102 Likes
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
Unknown
931 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
222 Likes
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I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'
Unknown
919 Likes
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Before s.... you help each other get naked, after s.. you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
Unknown
2197 Likes
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Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing.
Unknown
696 Likes
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It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Unknown
842 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.
Unknown
287 Likes
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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