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Funny Step Mom Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Step Mom Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales...
Unknown
175 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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Everyone checks out my mom. My mom's hot.
Ashley Scott
26 Likes
First Time Mom quotes
People may think he's not perfect but in my mind he's beyond perfect when you're able to look into his eyes and see the real him. Having his arms wrapped around you because he cares more about you than anything, the way he says I love you and those cute little inside jokes nobody else would understand the way he giggles at your jokes even when they aren't even funny or the way he talks about you to his friends it makes you realize how much he means to you. His flaws make him perfect and when I'm around him I feel like everything's okay again and he's the solution to all my problems.
Unknown
564 Likes
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All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
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So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
Henry Youngman
167 Likes
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With a definite, step-by-step plan - ah, what a difference it makes! You cannot fail, because each step carries you along to the next, like a track.
Scott Reed
0 Likes
What do you call a blind German? A not see!
Unknown
133 Likes
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I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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My mom and I were in New York for the summer and I modeled for Ford. One time, I would not stop talking at the photo shoot so someone there said to my mom 'I think you have her in front of the wrong camera. You should go meet these people'. My mom had no idea what she was getting into and I got my first commercial.
Taylor Momsen
10 Likes
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What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it.
Antoine De Saint
4 Likes
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan
16 Likes
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You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Unknown
498 Likes
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Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
Rob Corddry
11 Likes
So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.'
Tim Vine
18 Likes
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Hi. Um, my camel called...he wants his toe back!
Unknown
59 Likes
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Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: With what?
Unknown
142 Likes
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If the 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still 2?
Unknown
224 Likes
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What do you call identical boobs? Identitties.
Unknown
110 Likes
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I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Unknown
618 Likes
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