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Funny The Kids Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny The Kids" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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When I want to watch a TV show with my parents past my bedtime, my mom always sends me to bed no matter how much I fake being "absorbed" in the program.
Unknown
14 Likes
Funny quotes
Kids quotes
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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
Ray Romano
26 Likes
Funny quotes
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For some reason, my whole life has been, 'You can't do this, you can't do that.' The other day I was watching these kids crossing the road, and they have these crossing guards, kids who help other kids across the road. They would never let me be a crossing guard when I was a little kid . It would come up, I'd always raise my hand, I would never get picked . They thought I was too wild, but I knew I was responsible enough, if I was given that task.
Mark Ruffalo
2 Likes
I grew up in a family where the internalized understanding was that the kids were going to grow up into a better world. I worry, because I don't think my kids are going to have that. The world is very scary. The world would be scary without the choices the current administration made, but they just exacerbated it. And it ticks me off. I want my kids to have a good life.
Bradley Whitford
4 Likes
Did you know if you yell 'Bloody Mary' 3 times in the mirror at 3am your mom will show up and tell you to shut up and go to bed?
Unknown
328 Likes
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When your mother is mad and asks you, Do I look stupid? it's best not to answer her.
Unknown
65 Likes
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Kids with single parents can get more financial aid.
Unknown
6 Likes
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Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas
Paula Poundstone
135 Likes
Children quotes
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It's so funny & crazy when people say they are done dealing with people that act like kids yet they are the biggest kid!
Unknown
25 Likes
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas
Paula Poundstone
125 Likes
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Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.
Ed Asner
4 Likes
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I hope your kids cope with the divorce well enough to serve as a prop to help get you laid.
Unknown
7 Likes
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Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over.
Unknown
35 Likes
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A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out.
Bill Maher
2 Likes
My mom told me to follow my dreams, so I took a nap.
Unknown
164 Likes
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Nobody cares that youre smart and nobody cares that your kids dont have bruises.
Jim Jefferies
16 Likes
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Technically, you're not drinking alone if your kids are home.
Unknown
32 Likes
Funny quotes
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
8 Likes
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dear teacher, its not fair to put all the smart kids into one group, sincerely failing and in need of the grade.
Drew Fonner
71 Likes
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By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn't believe me.
Hussein Nishah
101 Likes
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