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Funny To Put As Your Friends Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny To Put As Your Friends Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Friends are like underwear, always near you. Good friends are like condoms, always protecting you. Best friends are like viagra, lift you up when you are down.
Unknown
2145 Likes
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When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a friends Facebook account: 'I LOVE D*CK IN MY MOUTH!'
Unknown
843 Likes
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On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won't stop inboxing meeee!
Unknown
1205 Likes
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Deja Vu is when God thinks something is so funny, that he has to rewind it to show it to his friends.
Unknown
509 Likes
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In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.
Will Ferrell
1154 Likes
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Everybody knows somebody who's Facebook relationship status should be 'Still banging my ex.'
Unknown
597 Likes
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This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket....so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass.
Unknown
719 Likes
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I like to put things back where I got them from when I am done using them...so I dropped your mom off at the bar.
Unknown
232 Likes
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Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape on backwards.'
Unknown
921 Likes
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OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?
Unknown
876 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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Fake is the new trend and some of my friends seem to be in style!
Unknown
800 Likes
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Oh, you lost your cell phone on vibrate? If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it.
Unknown
457 Likes
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God put haters on this earth for two reasons: 1. To motivate others. 2. To give no lives a job.
Surgeo Bell
80 Likes
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Friends are like condoms. They are always there to protect you when things get hard.
Unknown
614 Likes
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On the 12th day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me 12 chicks I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvveeee drama queens, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a pokin' and a ex who won't stop inboxing me!
Unknown
99 Likes
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Sorry your decision to quietly change your relationship status was broadcast to every single one of your Facebook friends.
Unknown
13 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut, but I tried to put her name as my password and it said 'Error: too easy.'
Unknown
722 Likes
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Friends are like bum cheeks, shit comes between them but they always stick together.
Unknown
332 Likes
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
2231 Likes
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