Funny Twitter Quotes

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Total: 17 Quotes
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Suggest Revision: I recently gave up Warcraft so my productivity, and drinking, have increased dramatically.
 
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Suggest Revision: A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery.
 
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Suggest Revision: You know the burnt-out college student in front of you in line at Target who was intermittently chuckling to herself? Nice to meet you, too.
 
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Suggest Revision: Im 25% mom 25% comedian 62% boobs 48% mathematician and 100% woman-monkey.
 
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Suggest Revision: I once sneezed a beenie weenie through my nose. I also made a horse faint in Costa Rica.
 
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Suggest Revision: Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
 
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Suggest Revision: Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football.
 
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Suggest Revision: Puttin the elation in Public Relations
 
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Suggest Revision: Nice guys finish lunch.
 
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Suggest Revision: Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless.
 
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Monday, May 20
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