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Funny Twitter Status And Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Twitter Status And" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Dear people who update their Facebook status every 30 seconds, there's Twitter for a reason!
Unknown
7813 Likes
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I'm fairly sure that my cute next door neighbor thinks I'm a stalker. She wrote it on Facebook, Twitter and even in both of her diaries.
Unknown
442 Likes
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Myspace is my ex husband, Facebook is my baby daddy, Twitter is my ho and I'm in a serious relationship with Instagram.
Ambri Bright
402 Likes
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I wonder how some people can keep up with both their Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook...I cant even keep up with the Kardashians.
Unknown
313 Likes
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I just got on Twitter because there was some MTV film blog that quoted me on something really innocuous that I supposedly said on Twitter before I was even on Twitter. So then I had to get on Twitter to say: 'This is me. I'm on Twitter. If there's somebody else saying that they're me on Twitter, they're not.'
Anna Kendrick
13 Likes
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99% of the time my brain is thinking blah, meh, why, huh, WTF, food and computers. The other 1% I'm usually asleep.
Unknown
204 Likes
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Im 25% mom 25% comedian 62% boobs 48% mathematician and 100% woman-monkey.
Unknown
65 Likes
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Since today is Valentine's day, I was wondering if you'd like to go back to MySpace, so I can Twitter with your Yahoo, until I Google all over your Facebook and we can Instagram our date... ;) Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone!!
Unknown
495 Likes
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Dear Teacher. Please stop make us sleepy, we have no bed in class. Sincerely, students.
OhItsVynn
216 Likes
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Dear people who update their Facebook status every 30 seconds, there's Twitter for a reason.
Unknown
273 Likes
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Nice guys finish lunch.
Unknown
86 Likes
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All women crave attention, but Twitter and Facebook exposes all the women that can't function without it.
Mitchell Perry
457 Likes
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Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
Unknown
147 Likes
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Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
Unknown
195 Likes
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Let me bi... at you every day until you sort your shit out.
Unknown
238 Likes
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Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless.
Unknown
69 Likes
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Wanna come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo till I Google all over your Facebook?
Unknown
2433 Likes
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Born at a very young age.
Unknown
148 Likes
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If you've recently followed me under the impression that I might tweet something funny, I've got some bad news for you...
Unknown
37 Likes
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If Facebook is like dating, then Twitter is like a one night stand - it's fun while you're doing it, you finish in like 5 minutes, and you feel real cheap afterwards.
Unknown
201 Likes
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