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Funny Wife One Liners Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Wife One Liners" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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A good wife comes from God and a good husband comes from the bank.
Evans Amecha
51 Likes
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My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that's Ok!
Jay Leno
25 Likes
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I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he's already met my wife.
Nikhil Saluja
350 Likes
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There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will.
Robert Frost
62 Likes
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Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
Jim Backus
16 Likes
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I became a specialist at comedic one-liners.
Lauren Hutton
52 Likes
President Reagan's one-liners were terrific.
Geraldine Ferraro
68 Likes
My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
Every man sees his second mother in his wife but every woman sees her first child in her husband.
Ritu Ghatourey
897 Likes
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A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed.
Unknown
356 Likes
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Marriage is a workshop, where the husband works and the wife shops.
Unknown
633 Likes
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They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
0 Likes
Kill ni...s with one-liners, all I need is one lighter. Counting so much money, I got arthritis.
2 Chainz
35 Likes
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
Les Dawson
1182 Likes
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I always wondered if you clone your wife and have the cloned wife on the moon and the real wife down here, would that be considered cheating?
Luis Guzman
2 Likes
They say he's [Yogi Berra] funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
7 Likes
Money quotes
I can't just say the words, do a lot of one-liners. I love each person I play; I have to be that person. I have to do him true.
Richard Pryor
51 Likes
I suppose I grew up wishing I was an American Jew for the comedy and the one-liners...actress who does a Holocaust movie because, as she explains, it's a surefire way to finally win an Oscar.
Ricky Gervais
27 Likes
Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters.
Nikhil Saluja
347 Likes
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