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Total: 47321 Quotes
 Eric Sykes quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
 
 Spike Milligan quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
 
 Harry Hill quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
 
 Ronnie Corbett quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
 
 Harry Hill quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade.
 
 Ellen DeGeneres quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: People always ask me 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, I was an accountant.
 
 Slappy White quotes 
 Funny quotes   Work quotes   Unemployment quotes 
Suggest Revision: The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
 
 Lily Tomlin quotes 
 Funny quotes   Work quotes 
Suggest Revision: The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
 
 Robert Paul quotes 
 Funny quotes   Work quotes 
Suggest Revision: The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
 
 Billy Graham quotes 
 Funny quotes   God quotes 
Suggest Revision: One with God is a majority.
 
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