Funny Work Quotes

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Total: 91 Quotes
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Suggest Revision: My only professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer monitor other than me.
 
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Suggest Revision: The only thing I plan to accomplish at work today is to turn a gallon of coffee into a gallon of piss.
 
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Suggest Revision: We feel that your job performance would improve greatly if you just quit doing your job.
 
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Suggest Revision: I can't believe you haven't finished the thing I forgot to tell you to start.
 
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Suggest Revision: Your name still comes up at work whenever something goes horribly wrong and we don't want to take the blame.
 
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Suggest Revision: Please figure this out and get back to me ASAP even though it would take me less time to do it myself than to write this email.
 
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Suggest Revision: Bitching about other people not working really makes the day fly by.
 
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Suggest Revision: I wish we had something better to do at our crappy jobs than check our disappearing 401(k)s which ensures we'll be stuck forever at our crappy jobs.
 
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Suggest Revision: At least not having an office window means you'll never know how nice it is outside..
 
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Suggest Revision: I couldn't get through Mondays without knowing you're equally miserable
 
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Wednesday, June 19
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