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Future Wife On Cookng Funny Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Future Wife On Cookng Funny Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Sometimes I get my wife and my GPS mixed up...they both tell me what to do every 30 feet.
Unknown
310 Likes
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My wife said she wanted something that went from 0 to 400 in 2 seconds....I got her a bathroom scale.
Unknown
472 Likes
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My wife always complains that I dont take her anywhere expensive... so I took her to the Gas Station.
Unknown
1255 Likes
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My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese without anyone noticing...
Unknown
232 Likes
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When I propose to my future wife, I'm going to put a ring in a Pokeball, get down on one knee, and say 'I choose you.'
Unknown
105 Likes
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When you see a man opening a car door for a woman it can only mean 1 of 2 things. Either the car is new or the wife is.
Unknown
572 Likes
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OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?
Unknown
876 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio
Unknown
4385 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Charles M Schwab
67 Likes
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Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Unknown
1203 Likes
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
2231 Likes
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In a few years priests will say, 'You may now change your relationship status to husband and wife.'
Unknown
213 Likes
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There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
Unknown
1102 Likes
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
Unknown
931 Likes
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A good wife comes from God and a good husband comes from the bank.
Evans Amecha
51 Likes
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My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that's Ok!
Jay Leno
25 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
222 Likes
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