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George Carlin Christmas Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Carlin Christmas" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish.
Benny Hill
92 Likes
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Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
Unknown
693 Likes
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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Mankind is a great, an immense familyThis is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas.
Pope John Paul XXIII
15 Likes
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Unknown
137 Likes
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Christmas Eve was a night of song that wrapped itself about you like a shawl. But it warmed more than your body. It warmed your heart... filled it, too, with melody that would last forever.
Bess Streeter Aldrich
38 Likes
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What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
42 Likes
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The rooms were very still while the pages were softly turned and the winter sunshine crept in to touch the bright heads and serious faces with a Christmas greeting.
Louisa May Alcott
25 Likes
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Let us keep Christmas beautiful without a thought of greed, that it might live forevermore to fill our every need, that it shall not be just a day, but last a lifetime through, the miracle of Christmas time that brings God close to you.
Ann Schultz
26 Likes
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I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
Unknown
143 Likes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
11 Likes
Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
George Carlin
10 Likes
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Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
George Carlin
18 Likes
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
3 Likes
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Well, I'm kinda like George Carlin. I think that there ought to be a time where everybody should have all the drugs they want and there'd be nobody in charge, sort of like... now!
Paul Haggis
0 Likes
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If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work
George Carlin
6 Likes
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Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
George Carlin
24 Likes
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
4 Likes
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin
6 Likes
What does Christmas remind you of? Mistletoe, holly, Christmas tree, eggnog, Christmas pudding, and so many wonderful things. When the heart is happy, Christmas can never be dull. It's not just about feasting and fun. It's also a time for happy reunions with family and friends.
Unknown
18 Likes
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