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Jerry Seinfeld P Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jerry Seinfeld P" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
Jerry Seinfeld
30 Likes
Funny quotes
Family quotes
Law And Lawyers quotes
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
Jerry Seinfeld
21 Likes
Life quotes
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I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?
Jerry Seinfeld
94 Likes
Funny quotes
Wedding quotes
Humor quotes
I would love to be in a Paul Thomas Anderson movie, I'd love to do television with Jerry Seinfeld or Michael Richards, who I think are the greatest talents ever on television.
Eddie Kaye Thomas
13 Likes
Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.
Jerry Seinfeld
829 Likes
Birthday quotes
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I just knew it was time to leave that thing where it was. Even though I still occasionally think about it, I still think I did it the right way. It was the correct type of ending. By which I mean it came a little sooner than people were expecting...was such a wonderful experience for me. It wasn't even the thing I thought I was going to have a talent for. I just fell in with the perfect group of people and everything about it was sort of miraculous.
Jerry Seinfeld
1 Likes
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
13 Likes
Death quotes
I do not know why anyone would host an awards show. No matter how unbelievably well you do at it, the only thing that can happen is you get asked again to host an awards show.
Jerry Seinfeld
5 Likes
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And he convinced me to eat one. And it was horrible and it was exciting. And I thought, this will be gross and I'll have a story: I had my first oyster with Paul Newman.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
Jerry Seinfeld
19 Likes
Funny quotes
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Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, s..ually, is that men are like firemen. To men, s.. is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.
Jerry Seinfeld
27 Likes
Sex quotes
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
8 Likes
Fear quotes
Death And Dying quotes
Speech quotes
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
17 Likes
Fear quotes
Death And Dying quotes
Speech quotes
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me
Jerry Seinfeld
16 Likes
Christmas quotes
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Fun Christmas quotes
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.
Jerry Seinfeld
17 Likes
Doing Your Best quotes
Men And Women quotes
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There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
Advice quotes
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
Jerry Seinfeld
12 Likes
Doing Your Best quotes
Men And Women quotes
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
Jerry Seinfeld
3 Likes
Comedy quotes
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
Jerry Seinfeld
25 Likes
Friends quotes
One out of every 100 families in Vermont was a part owner of Ben and Jerry's.
Jerry Greenfield
63 Likes
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