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John Pinette Jokeste Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "John Pinette Jokeste Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
He can say, 'Feed me, I'm hungry,' in 27 languages.
John Pinette
9 Likes
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If you go to Bed Bath & Beyond without a coupon, people will wonder if you're OK.
John Pinette
2 Likes
Don't cruise ships have a rock finder thingy?
John Pinette
2 Likes
Prince Edward Island is a lovely place, but does it really need 10 'Anne of Green Gables' gift shops?
John Pinette
4 Likes
Socially this was very difficult on me. When you have no eyebrows... people don't know what's wrong but they're pretty sure something isn't right. And maybe we should take the next elevator, Honey.
John Pinette
5 Likes
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Gotta love whitewater rafting. Ten of us are going. Eight will come back. Dont forget to wear your toe tag. Sometimes the bodies dont float down the river for a week or so.
John Pinette
7 Likes
We have our underwear 10, 12 years! Ladies just throw pantyhose out! I'd go through a crate of 'em a week! And the pantyhose rip for no reason! You just...*rip*. We have material that stops bullets and the pantyhose are ripping? It's built-in obsolescence! It's bullshit!
John Pinette
5 Likes
Ive been on a cruise ship thats crashed. The captain comes on, 'I want you to know that the ship is taking on a little water.' You mean were sinking. A guy bringing on a case of Evian, thats taking on a little water.
John Pinette
8 Likes
I dont do up. Sit-ups. Push-ups. Pull-ups. I do downs. Sit down. Lay down. Blackjack, Ill double down. Give me a cheeseburger, Ill wolf it down. Put on a little music, Ill boogie down.
John Pinette
14 Likes
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
11 Likes
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
What do they give you for a side dish in England for breakfast? Home Fries? Hash Browns? Fresh fruit? Nay, nay. They give you beans. Oh, good. Let's start me off in the morning: empty stomach, cup of black coffee, and some beans. Now let's walk me around London for a little while, getting me all churned up. Put me in a taxi and see what happens. I blew the doors off the taxi.
John Pinette
16 Likes
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
1 Likes
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
David Ogilvy
40 Likes
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I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes.
Rainn Wilson
4 Likes
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A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
28 Likes
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A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
TS Eliot
11 Likes
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Deaf jokes aren't funny, I don't want to hear them.
Unknown
65 Likes
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Always laugh heartily at the jokes your boss tells, it maybe a loyalty test.
Unknown
18 Likes
Jokes quotes
For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies.
Laurence Sterne
8 Likes
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