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Messed Up And Funny Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Messed Up And Funny Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
It's bad enough to steal you fb status but when they do and they get more likes then you that's just messed up.
Mario Tomasello
601 Likes
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OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?
Unknown
876 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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I messed up my entire life, because I got high. I lost my kids and wife, because I got high. Now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk... and I know why.
Afroman
96 Likes
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What was most important to me at the Olympics was going out there and performing my best. When I messed up the first jump combination, which was my big move, it hit me that I messed up the program of my life.
Debi Thomas
18 Likes
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Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Unknown
1203 Likes
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
2231 Likes
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I was gonna clean my room, until I got high. I was gonna get up and find the broom, but then I got high. My room is still messed up... and I know why.
Afroman
106 Likes
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Seeing people get messed up never gets un-funny! And there's plenty of ways to do that.
Bam Margera
3 Likes
There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
Unknown
1102 Likes
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
Unknown
931 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
222 Likes
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I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'
Unknown
919 Likes
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Before s.... you help each other get naked, after s.. you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
Unknown
2197 Likes
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Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing.
Unknown
696 Likes
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It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Unknown
842 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.
Unknown
287 Likes
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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