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Retirement George Carlin Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Retirement George Carlin" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pi.ples.
George F Burns
7 Likes
Retirement quotes
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pi.ples.
George F Burns
42 Likes
Retirement quotes
I don't even think about a retirement program because I'm working for the Lord, for the Almighty. And even thought the Lord's pay isn't very high, his retirement program is, you might say, out of this world.
George Foreman
5 Likes
The money is no better in retirement but the hours are!
Unknown
96 Likes
Funny quotes
Retirement quotes
Teacher Retirement quotes
Always do whatever's next.
George Carlin
2 Likes
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating... ...and you finish off as an orgasm.
George Carlin
168 Likes
Life quotes
Humor quotes
Think off-center.
George Carlin
3 Likes
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
6 Likes
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
George Carlin
2 Likes
Religion is just mind control.
George Carlin
2 Likes
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The status quo sucks.
George Carlin
10 Likes
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
George Carlin
6 Likes
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
3 Likes
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
George Carlin
20 Likes
Funny quotes
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
George Carlin
0 Likes
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
11 Likes
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin
6 Likes
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
George Carlin
2 Likes
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
George Carlin
8 Likes
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin
10 Likes
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