Roger American Dad Quotes

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Total: 3939 Quotes
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Suggest Revision: By the way, Haley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, these Chocodiles Haley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, oh my God! -Roger
 
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Suggest Revision: Hayley: Oh my God. Dad, why is Hilary Duff in our house? Stan: Hilary is here of her own free will because she wants to have dinner with Steve. Steve: Hilary, could you pass the salt? Stan: (Holding gun to her head) Pass him the salt.
 
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Suggest Revision: Stan: (With gun, searching the house) Osama, is that you? (Hears noise, fires gun) Roger: Geez, Stan, what gives? Holy Toledo, you killed your son's dog! And don't ask me to bring him back with that E.T. finger thing because that's a giant load of crap.
 
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Suggest Revision: Roger: Oh, don't everybody help at once. Francine: My goodness, Roger! When was the last time you weighed yourself? Roger: Oh, oh, ow. Ow, Francine. You know, we can't all look like those anorexic aliens on the James Cameron movies. Francine: I'm sorry, Roger, but I'm putting you on a diet. Starting today, no more junk food. (Takes Roger's donut) Roger: What?! No, not my Frankenberries! Oh, Francine! Please be reasonable! (Gets on table trying to get his donuts, breaks table) Oh, God! I got a bear claw in my ass!
 
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Suggest Revision: Hayley: It's just toast, Dad. Stan: This time it was toast, Hayley. This time.
 
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Suggest Revision: Steve: I can't believe you muscled out your own son. You stink, dad. Stan: Oh, come on, what's more important, your hopes and dreams, or me making more than your mother?!
 
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Suggest Revision: Stan: What makes you think you're gonna survive? Roger: My species is immune to all human ailments. Stan: So explain that cold sore. Roger: Mind your own business!
 
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Suggest Revision: Hayley: Dad, you're a weapons expert! When was the last time you fought someone hand-to-hand? Stan: Don't worry, Hayley. It's just like beating up a bicycle.
 
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Suggest Revision: God, please watch over the soul of this dead dog and carry him up to heaven... because he sure as hell can't walk... he's dead. Amen. -Stan
 
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Suggest Revision: Stan: Hilary, look out for the mines! (Explosion) What did I just say? You heard me. What did I just say? Steve: You said,
 
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