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Scary Dog Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Scary Dog Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.
Cathy Guisewite
6 Likes
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So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.'
Tim Vine
18 Likes
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Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
Anonymous
67 Likes
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If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
Milton Jones
245 Likes
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A dog is a dog except when he is facing you. Then he is Mr. Dog.
Haitian Farmer
21 Likes
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I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.
Dane Cook
76 Likes
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I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if half the audience walks out.
David Antin
9 Likes
My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
Wendy Leibman
111 Likes
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Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.
Charles M Schulz
2 Likes
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain
37 Likes
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A friend is a friend and a dog is a dog. A friend will never be a dog, but a dog won't ever quit being a friend.
Jean Paul Malfatti
121 Likes
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I'm a great dog fanatic. My own dog died a little while ago and I take it very personally when things die...it's a major offence.
Clive Barker
8 Likes
Dog Dying quotes
Dumb dog. I bought a dog whistle. He won't use it.
Unknown
17 Likes
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I'm a dog person, I've had dogs all my life. But you see, it's not really a dog. It's more like a little robot. It's an actor. It displays no emotion whatsoever. I swear that dog doesn't know any of us even though we've done five seasons of Frasier.
John Mahoney
9 Likes
In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.
Edward Hoagland
151 Likes
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Being alone is scary, but not as scary as feeling alone in a relationship.
Megan Marie
212 Likes
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It's like why people read scary books or go see scary movies. Because it creates a distance. They're scared, but they're not going to get hurt.
Vincent D'Onofrio
1 Likes
Seriously, I did not want to see The Sixth Sense. I knew I would have nightmares. And my parents agreed with me, too. I'm just too young. I haven't seen it yet. I still think it's scary. I don't like scary movies.
Emily Osment
6 Likes
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
11 Likes
Jokes quotes
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
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