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Shocking Status Funny Marriage With Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Shocking Status Funny Marriage With" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Here's to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for not making anyone else be married to them.
Unknown
240 Likes
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Sometimes I get my wife and my GPS mixed up...they both tell me what to do every 30 feet.
Unknown
310 Likes
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Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters.
Nikhil Saluja
347 Likes
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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?'
Unknown
88 Likes
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Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
Ogden Nash
150 Likes
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A shocking occurrence ceases to be shocking when it occurs daily.
Alexander Chase
0 Likes
OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?
Unknown
876 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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DAUGHTER what is marriage: MOM: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore........
Unknown
205 Likes
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This is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible beings who do not run away from life
Paul Tournier
22 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.
Melchor Lim
101 Likes
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Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he wont even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Unknown
88 Likes
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Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
Unknown
207 Likes
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Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Unknown
1203 Likes
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
2231 Likes
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In a few years priests will say, 'You may now change your relationship status to husband and wife.'
Unknown
213 Likes
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There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
Unknown
1102 Likes
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I guess you'll never appreciate your freedom as a SINGLE until you finally find yourself in the four walls of MARRIAGE.
Terry Mark
82 Likes
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
Unknown
931 Likes
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