Sorry Did Not Text

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This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION that load, we're only talking about one load connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off've my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [...] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what's for fucking breakfast?!"
 Bill Hicks quotes 
 Humour quotes 
Suggest Revision: This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going
 
 Unknown quotes 
 Better Off Without You quotes 
Suggest Revision: I believe that we should not humiliate each other with lies. We both know it did not work between us and I'm sure we both are very sorry. All I want you to know now is that Ill always be your friend and Ill always respect you. I know you are wonderful.
 
 Unknown quotes 
 Being Sorry quotes 
Suggest Revision: Im gunna try to give my mom what she wants from me...im sorry for not being that daughter you hoped I'd be.
 
 Meeeee!!!!!! quotes 
 Sorry Did Not quotes 
Suggest Revision: Most STUPID questions people usually ask in obvious situation. 1. At movies: hey! What are you doing here? Me: I sell tickets in black here. Don't you know? ... ... 2. In bus: A fat lady steps on my feet: Sorry did that hurt? Me: No not at all. I'm on local anesthesia . Y don't you try again?:O 3. When I got woken up at midnight by a call: sorry! Were you sleeping? Me: Na! I was doing research on whether monkeys in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping, you stupid fool? 4. when they see me with shorter hair: hey Have you had a haircut? Me: Nah! Its autumn. my hairs shedding.! 5. When someone call on land-line and asks where are you? Me: M in market with telephone around my neck LOL :P :P :P
 
 Unknown quotes 
 Sorry Did Not quotes 
Suggest Revision: Most STUPID questions people usually ask in obvious situation. 1. At movies: hey! What are you doing here? Me: I sell tickets in black here. Don't you know? ... ... 2. In bus: A fat lady steps on my feet: Sorry did that hurt? Me: No not at all. I'm on local anesthesia . Y don't you try again?:O 3. When I got woken up at midnight by a call: sorry! Were you sleeping? Me: Na! I was doing research on whether monkeys in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping, you stupid fool? 4. when they see me with shorter hair: hey Have you had a haircut? Me: Nah! Its autumn. my hairs shedding.! 5. When someone call on land-line and asks where are you? Me: M in market with telephone around my neck LOL :P :P :P
 
 Bristol Palin quotes 
 Sorry Did Not quotes 
Suggest Revision: I did not send in my absentee ballots to Alaska. I'm going to be in trouble. Sorry, mom!
 
 Voltaire quotes 
 God quotes 
Suggest Revision: If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him
 
 Annie Dillard quotes 
 Religion quotes 
Suggest Revision: Eskimo: If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell? Priest: No, not if you did not know. Eskimo: Then why did you tell me?
 
 David Grayson quotes 
 Love quotes 
Suggest Revision: Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.
 
 Naguib Mahfouz quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.
 
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