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Tim Vine Parachute Jok Vine Parachute Jok Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Tim Vine Parachute Jok Vine Parachute Jok" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.
Tim Vine
1 Likes
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I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.
Tim Vine
2 Likes
Velcro: what a rip-off.
Tim Vine
5 Likes
I love acting, but it's all just a bonus.
Tim Vine
4 Likes
You can't breathe until you choke. You gotta laugh when you're the jok.e There's nothing like a funeral. To make you feel alive.
Sixx AM
3 Likes
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
Tim Vine
3 Likes
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.
Tim Vine
1 Likes
Black beauty - he's a dark horse.
Tim Vine
7 Likes
Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.
Tim Vine
0 Likes
So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'
Tim Vine
0 Likes
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So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.'
Tim Vine
18 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'
Tim Vine
3 Likes
I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy.
Tim Vine
2 Likes
With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke.
Tim Vine
2 Likes
I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.
Tim Vine
8 Likes
History quotes
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You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.
Tim Vine
3 Likes
Hunting quotes
My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have hanging up on your wall say a lot about you. I've got ones of Evel Knievel, Elvis and Starsky and Hutch, signed by David Soul.
Tim Vine
2 Likes
I don't need a parachute. Baby, if I've got you. Baby, if I've got you I don't need a parachute.
Cheryl Cole
3 Likes
I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum.
Tim Vine
3 Likes
People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.
Tim Vine
5 Likes
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