True Funny But True Quotes

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Suggest Revision: The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order...
 
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Suggest Revision: It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.
 
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Suggest Revision: If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
 
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Suggest Revision: An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
 
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Suggest Revision: I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
 
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Suggest Revision: I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
 
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Suggest Revision: When your dreams turn to dust, it's time to vacuum.
 
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Suggest Revision: Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills. Making the last car payment.
 
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Suggest Revision: They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.
 
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Suggest Revision: When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks,
 
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