Witty Facebook Status Quotes

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Total: 106 Quotes

You know what guys & parking spaces have in common? The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicaps.

14 up, 11 down

Nishan Panwar quotes | added by: NaughtyNishan
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Welcome to Facebook. The Weather today: An 80% chance of game requests, a 10% chance of pokes, and a 100% certainty of drama

12 up, 2 down

Unknown quotes | added by: Mohd_Aariff_Khan
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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.

25 up, 5 down

Unknown quotes | added by: Mohd_Aariff_Khan
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Facebook: the only book teens read these days.

35 up, 12 down

Azgraybebly Joslan quotes | added by: CHARMINGjosh
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Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone. It's an iPhone.

46 up, 13 down

Ritu Ghatourey quotes | added by: ritusagoo
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Welcome to Facebook: Where hoes call out hoes when they should be calling out themselves, where people claim their real when really their faker then Pamela Anderson's boobies, where lame ass dudes talk about how their balling and got money to blow but really they can't even afford a mcdouble from McDonald's and their living with their parents on the down low, where people post pics of food claiming they made it when they know damn well it's just a tv dinner, where chicks post pics wearing almost nothing trying to get as many likes as they can and they call guys desperate when their the ones looking desperate in the first place! It's more like welcome to drama-Fakebook

215 up, 44 down

Bryan Burden quotes | added by: Bryan27
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The word swag is soo stupid. Swag is just a way for a man, to call another man sexy, and not feel gay about it.

162 up, 36 down

Unknown quotes | added by: FreeMind
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Judge me and I will prove you wrong. Tell me what to do and ill tell you off. Tell me I'm not worth and watch where I end up. call me a bitch and I'll show you one. fuck me over and I'll do it to you twice as bad. Call me crazy but you really have no idea. :)~

319 up, 79 down

Unknown quotes | added by: RelatableQuotes
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When people say life is short. What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

99 up, 47 down

Unknown quotes | added by: courts95
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Why do porn sites have a 'Share to Facebook' button? Who watches porn and thinks, 'You know who'd really enjoy this? My family and friends.'

216 up, 27 down

Unknown quotes | added by: ted
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New Updates! (5/19/2013) We've been working really hard on completing our new design and adding more member features. Once this is complete in the coming weeks there will be a lot more Witty Facebook Status quotes. We've also changed the sorting on the site so you now see the latest Witty Facebook Status quotes first. Our goal is to have the best Witty Facebook Status quotes on the web!

Featured Quote: "I'm okay today. I'll be okay tomorrow. And the next day after that I'll still be okay. But in a year you will see me, I'll be amazing."

added by: leila

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Sunday, May 19

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Face book, the brainchild of Mark Zuckerberg, is becoming a rage these days. Every face book user can vent out all that he has in mind and share what is on his mind through his status message on his face book account’s wall. A witty face book status is the one which has a lot of wit and humour. It is basically a witty message which originates in the mind of the person who shares it with others on his wall. Messages which are authentic and purely genuine have more wit than the ones which follow the grapevine and are just being circulated. Witty messages are the brainchild of someone who is witty too and has lots of brain and talking sense. In the words of Will Wright, “In an online community, there's this kind of social economy between the community members. Some people have status because they make cool skins or that's a good website that's visited a lot, but there's no real game play there.”