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IQ Score: 7000
Total quotes: 77
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QUOTES
As a little brother I respect you care for you and love for you. I won't disappoint you sister.
Unknown
80 Likes
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I like food and sleep. So if I give you my food, or text you late at night, you are special to me.
Unknown
371 Likes
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The most exercise you get is running your mouth, jumping to conclusions, and pushing your luck.
Unknown
476 Likes
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There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter, like watching TV, and taking naps!
Unknown
120 Likes
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Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
Unknown
984 Likes
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I like most people as long as they're not behind a steering wheel or a keyboard.
Unknown
213 Likes
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For April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post updates on who they stalk.
Unknown
6546 Likes
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When standing in line, I only hate the people in front of me. Everyone behind me is cool.
Unknown
314 Likes
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Karma is when you throw a banana in Mario Kart and you end up slipping on it.
Unknown
181 Likes
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There's nothing more comfortable than sleeping while someone else gets ready for work.
Unknown
86 Likes
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Why do porn sites have a 'Share to Facebook' button? Who watches porn and thinks, 'You know who'd really enjoy this? My family and friends.'
Unknown
328 Likes
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My car finally heats up when I reach my destination.
Unknown
57 Likes
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I'm nice to the weird kid, so he'll spare my life when he snaps.
Unknown
100 Likes
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One of the biggest lies ever: The doctor will be with you in a couple of minutes.
Unknown
114 Likes
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Siri's on her period. She needs an iPad.
Unknown
167 Likes
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Its 2013 why does food still have calories...
Unknown
54 Likes
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I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday.
Unknown
393 Likes
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I just made Romney noodles Obama self.
Unknown
123 Likes
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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, then have we found the perfect location for a Nickelback concert?
Unknown
234 Likes
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I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose.
Unknown
933 Likes
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