TOPIC
AUTHOR
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
EVENTS
MEMBERS
LOGIN
SIGN UP
Quotes
Topics
Pictures
Questions
Authors
Blog
About
Terms
Privacy
Sitemap
Get in Touch
Advertise
Removal Request
Subscribe
Contact Us
Social
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
Pinterest
Close
Submit Quote
Latest Quotes
Browse our latest quotes
Topic List
Categorized list of quote topics
Famous Authors
Alphabetical list of influential authors
Picture Quotes
Custom and user added quotes with pictures
Quotes
Questions
Submit Quote
Emo Philips Funny Quotes
click me
12 entries tagged Funny quotes by Emo Philips.
Last updated Mar 2024
Emo Philips Topics
Funny
Adultery
Positive
Religious
Schools
Time
Murder
Crime
Luck
Women
Money
Men And Women
Forgiveness
Computers
Chess
Jokes
Happy
QUOTES
I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.
Emo Philips
22 Likes
Funny quotes
Happy quotes
Sponsored Links
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Emo Philips
22 Likes
Funny quotes
Positive quotes
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Emo Philips
44 Likes
Funny quotes
Religious quotes
New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.
Emo Philips
16 Likes
Funny quotes
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Emo Philips
9 Likes
Funny quotes
Forgivenes quotes
Sponsored Links
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo Philips
29 Likes
Funny quotes
Computers quotes
Chess quotes
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
Emo Philips
23 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
Emo Philips
409 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
Emo Philips
42 Likes
Funny quotes
Women quotes
My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
Emo Philips
54 Likes
Funny quotes
Sponsored Links
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Emo Philips
45 Likes
Funny quotes
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
Emo Philips
47 Likes
Funny quotes
1
TRENDING
TRENDING TOPICS
Mar 29
Being In Love
Better Than You
Choices
Facebook Status
Girlfriends
Gratitude
Happy
Honor
Jesus
Jokes
Just Because
Luxury
Mortality
Mothers
Pride
Success
Swimming
Thankfulness
Virginity
Wisdom
ABOUT
Terms
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Sitemap
Contact Us
OUR GOAL
Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life.
© 2024 SearchQuotes™