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Nothing makes me want a relationship to fail more than matching profile pictures.

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Does a prostitude file pregnancy as a work-related accident?

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A wise man once said... relationships are like jacking off.... no doubt, they're amazing.. but they always end in a mess.

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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"

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Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.

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Funny Facebook Status Quotes About Relationship