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People Quotes About Funny

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42 People quotes tagged with Funny.

QUOTES

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be very disappointed that they are not it.

88 Likes

Arrogance quotes

Disappointment quotes

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Stupidity is like art. Everyone can do it, but only the truly gifted are masters at it.

86 Likes

Stupidity quotes

Sometimes there are no words to describe how we feel about some people. Thank God, He gave us the middle finger.

549 Likes

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Fuck Off quotes

I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.

126 Likes

Conversation quotes

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Sarcastic quotes

I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

8 Likes

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Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabetsoup?

6 Likes

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

A Whitney Brown

12 Likes

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.

Bobcat Goldthwait

888 Likes

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have kill you too.

24 Likes

Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.

19 Likes

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A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution? I sent them to her dad.

Christopher Case

66 Likes

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

33 Likes

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on me?

Marilyn Pittman

10 Likes

Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player.

Marsha Warfield

3 Likes

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

25 Likes

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Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins Lottery?

8 Likes

The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

8 Likes

If you tell the truth about how youre feeling, it becomes funny.

42 Likes

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

2 Likes

Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna cant even smoke in bed.

11 Likes

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