I am trying real hard every day is one huge process for me. You know everyday the pain is going deeper and deeper. I know I will be fine I just don't like the way I am right now I wasn't like this before.
Trying real hard nad looking forward to that very day where I can fully smile with no pain. If he comes back time will tell then. Some time being in this scenario is not just an easy to test to pass when your mind is in trouble.
It is high time that you move on.. there are some people in our lives who are just not meant to be ours and the people who love us will always find a way into our lives. Move on, it's going to be alright before late:)