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A man would prefer to come home to an unmade bed and a happy woman than to a neatly made bed and an angry woman.
Angelina Jolie may get Antonio Banderas in bed for eight hours on a movie set, but I get him in bed everyday.
I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and changed the bulb. When I got off the bed he said: 'That's the best acting you've ever done.'
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George F Burns
In reality, everyone is good in bed. Close eyes. Shutdown brain. Pause as necessary. Restart brain. Open eyes. What's there to not be good at? Bed is the one place where laziness is rewarded.
I even smoke in bed. Imagine smoking a cigar in bed, reading a book. Next to your bed, there's a cigar table with a special cigar ashtray, and your wife is reading a book on how to save the environment.
I have to believe that it works...that when two people come together they stay together. I have to take that to bed with me at night even if I'm going to bed alone. That's a McBealism.
The only way I can lose is if I'm caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
I used to lie in bed in my flat and imagine what would happen if there was a zombie attack.
A bedroom requires a bed. Everything else was extravagance. Well, he had a bed all right.
When I get into bed at night, I hope I don't get into it alone!
Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
Roseanne Barr Arnold
Being Let Down
It Is What It Is
Pick Up Lines
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