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A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?
Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.
The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.
A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George!
I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.
I rant, therefore I am.
Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.
Forget The Past
High School Senior
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