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A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas'.
Claude D Pepper
Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
Whenever the talk turns to age, I say I am 49 plus VAT.
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about the state of your body.
I'm so old they've canceled my blood type.
There is absolutely nothing to be said in favour of growing old. There ought to be leglislation against it.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five.
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