Get in Touch
Browse our latest quotes
Categorized list of quote topics
Alphabetical list of influential authors
Custom and user added quotes with pictures
A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.
I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
I met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.
I know why Superman left Krypton. Earth was the only place he could get steroids!
Children always know when company is in the living room - they can hear their mother laughing at their father's jokes
My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
I write for Reader's Digest. It's not hard. All you do is copy out an article and mail it in again.
My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life.
© 2021 SearchQuotes™