Beware the person who has nothing to lose.In the end, music is your only friend.I know what its like to want to die; how it hurts to smile; how you try to fit in but you cant; how you hurt yourself on the outside; to try to kill the thing thats in the inside.Even the people who never frown eventually breakdown.How can you understand me when I cant understand myself?I hate what I have become to escape what I hated being.Its like I realized that way down inside, Ive always been lonely for something. But I dont know what for. Its like everybody in the world wants something. Only they never really know exactly what it is they just keep finding out what its not. You know how, when you turn off the TV or you come out of some concert, and everything just feels empty? Like you thought that would be what you wanted, and then it wasnt?You look at me and think, shes so happy but theres so much behind this little smile that you will never know.Do you ever have those times you cry and you dont know why?People are always telling me to smile, like smiling is going to just take away all the hurt and pain. Well Ive tried that Ive tried hiding my sorrows and covering the sadness in smiles and what Ive learned is that when it hurts this much inside your heart always has a way of showing it no matter how many masks you wear.Let no one think I gave in.The pain is there to remind me that I'm still alive.Death is Gods way of saying youre fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you cant fire me, I quit.I dont know what I want in life. I dont know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that its eating me, and one day, there wont be any of me left.Everything that ever caused a tear to trickle down my cheek, I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I dont know what to do. I just know that pain I felt so long ago, its hurting ten time more.Its the loneliest feeling in the world to find yourself standing up when everyone else is sitting down. To have everybody look at you and say whats the matter with her? I know what it feels like. Walking down an empty street, listening to the sound of your own footsteps. Shutters closed, blinds drawn, doors locked against you. And you arent sure whether youre walking toward something, or if youre just walking away.You start life with a clean slate. Then you begin to make your mark. You face decisions, make choices. You keep moving forward. But sooner or later there comes a time where you look back over where you have been and wonder who you really are.I dont know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain.I know it seems like I'm this strong person who can get though anything, but inside I'm fragile. Ive had so many things thrown at me, and each one has only made a crack. What I'm afraid of is shattering.Maybe I am crazy but laughing makes the pain pass by.I love sleep. My life has this tendency to fall apart when I'm awake.I just wish I could roll back the clocks to when things were the same¦ then we were all just a bunch of crazy teenagers looking for a wild time. But now, thing arent the same. Each of us have gone our different ways. We change, people change, things just change, and we arent those crazy teenagers looking for a wild time anymore. Were teenagers looking for a person to love and a person to hug when were in need.Sometimes I think that if I wasnt so good at pretending to be, I'd be better at actually being happy.Her sadness did not have that. It dripped slowly into her life without her noticing it, at least, not noticing it until it consumed her fully and smothered her with darkness.I quit, I give up, nothings good enough for anybody else, it see¦ when I'm all alone its best way to be. When I'm by myself nobody else can say good-bye. Everything is temporary anyway.Everybodys searching for a hero. People need someone to look up to. I never found anyone who fulfilled my need¦ a lonely place to be, and so I learned to depend on me.Pain is your friend, it tells you when youre seriously injured, it keeps you awake and angry but the best thing about it is it lets you know that youre alive.I have a tendency to hurt myself physically, when I'm hurting inside.When your sure youve had enough of this life¦ dont let yourself go¦ because everybody cries¦ everybody hurts sometimes¦ sometimes everything is wrong.Some of us are just trying to get through the day without falling apart.Every night before I go to sleep I lie on my bed and stare up at my blank walls. I try to imagine the future, but right now its as blank as those walls. All I can see is a past that I barely recognize any more.I dont want the world to see me, because I dont think that theyd understand.Look at me. You may think you see who I really am, but youll never know me.Tired of living and scared of dying.I dont necessarily want to be happy; I just wa