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Department store Santas are apparently being trained to lower childrens expectations about toys because of the recession. Yeah, its weird when you ask Santa for a train set and hes like, Yeah, how bout a bus token?
A 99-year-old man is filing for divorce from his 96-year-old wife, making them the world's oldest divorced couple. It's got to be weird when a divorce lawyer is fighting for your kids to get custody of you.
The Senate is doing its first-ever Secret Santa gift exchange this year. Yeah, theres a $10 spending limit, but they plan to go $14 trillion over budget.
A new study found that a mothers diet affects her babys allergies. Which can only mean one thing: My mom ate cats.
Researchers in the U.K. have developed a vegetable called super broccoli designed to fight heart disease. Not to be outdone, researchers in America have developed a way to stuff an Oreo inside another Oreo.
A man in Arizona was arrested for stuffing snakes down his pants at a pet store. The good news is when he got to prison ten guys offered to stuff more snakes down his pants.
Apple is apparently building a large solar energy farm in North Carolina. And if theres any justice, the minute theyre done building it, God will introduce a newer, smaller sun thats not compatible with their machinery.
He man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.
My parents were kind of over protective people. Me and my sister had to play in the backyard all the time. They bought us bikes for Christmas but wouldn't let us ride in the street, we had to ride in the backyard. Another Christmas, my dad got me a basketball hoop and put it in the middle of the lawn! You can't dribble on grass.
I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. Then, I started meeting girls and I'm like 'You know, maybe I shouldn't be a Priest'.
Hurricane Irene...the storm was huge news. In fact, the Weather Channel reported something they haven't seen in years. Viewers.
You only think of the best comeback when you leave.
When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.
Being In Love With Your Best Friend
Criticism Of Others
Listen To Your Heart
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