Guilt is what you feel when you have violated values & done something wrong. You believe you have failed to live up to a certain standard set for yourself. Shame says you did something wrong which could have been avoided. When you feel shame you are assuming that what you have done wrong means that you are inadequate, flawed, no good. Shame tells you that your mistakes define you, whereas guilt says sure, you messed up, but you are not a mess up.